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McFool's Internet Humor
Compiled by Alister McFool
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Alister McFool combed thousands of web sites to find the best humor in the Internet in the year 2000. Here are some samples:
The real meaning behind the abbreviations in personal ads
The Males:
40-ish..................52 and looking for 25-year-old
Free Spirit..........Will sleep with your sister
Huggable............Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Poet.....................Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual...............Once went to church with his grandmother
Thoughtful............Says "Please" when demanding a beer
The Women:
Poet......................Depressive Schizophrenic
Romantic..............Looks better by candle light
Wants Soulmate..One step away from stalking
Widow...................Nagged first husband to death
Female comeback lines
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
And a few more
The dean of women at an exclusive girl's school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?" A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They already have boyfriends.
An elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs, and crawled into the kitchen. As he grasped a warm, moist, chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula. "Why?" he whispered. "Why did you do that?"
"They're for the funeral."
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